Understanding Pronouns

What are Pronouns?

Pronouns replace proper nouns. We use them when we refer to someone without using their name. For example, in the statement, "I'm meeting Danielle for lunch. She will be here at 1:00 p.m.," she is the pronoun.

Why Do Pronouns Matter?

Correct pronoun usage shows respect for the person's gender identity."Pronouns are basically how we identify ourselves apart from our name. It's how someone refers to you in conversation," says Mary Emily O'Hara, a communications officer at GLAAD. "And when you're speaking to people, it's a really simple way to affirm their identity."

What is Gender Identity?

Pronouns often reflect a person's gender identity, and people identify themselves in various ways, such as nationality, profession or gender. A person's identity is essential to how they perceive themselves and want others to perceive them. Ultimately, it is a personal decision someone makes on how they identify and does not always correlate with a person’s assigned sex at birth.

A disconnect can occur when people make assumptions based on how they perceive a person. For example, Lynn just started a new job and is working virtually. Lynn has been misgendered several times with the use of “she,” even though Lynn identifies as a man – and each time, Lynn finds himself having to correct his new co-workers.

Gender identity also is not limited to only male or female. Individuals may identify as neither, both or other options, including non-binary or gender non-conforming. For example, Sam is often misgendered with the use of both “she” and “he” pronouns but does not identify with either of these genders. Sam identifies as non-binary, using the pronouns “they” and “them.”

How Do You Determine Someone's Pronouns?

Start by sharing your pronouns. For example, "Hi, my name is David. I use he/him pronouns." This demonstrates pronoun awareness and also helps others feel welcome to share their pronouns if they choose.

In recognition of International Pronouns Day, PSCU and PSCUnity partnered with Mitchell, Stankovic & Associates and CU Pride to create the following video, which highlights the impact of using the correct gender pronouns to honor everyone's authentic identities.

How Is "They" Used as a Singular Pronoun?

"They" or "them" are gender-neutral pronouns and accepted for both singular and plural use. Individuals who do not identify as either male or female may prefer "they" or "them" since these are gender-neutral. You may not realize it, but you may already use "they/their" as a singular pronoun. For example, you might say, "They have free mangos in front of their house."

What Do I Do If I Use the Wrong Pronoun?

We all make mistakes. The important part is how we recover and move forward. Apologize and use the correct pronoun moving forward. Do not justify your mistake or dwell on the subject.

Tips for Incorporating Gender-Neutral Language:

• Pay attention to how you address people. Try using terms like "friends," "folks," "everybody," or "colleagues" rather than gender-specific references.
• Add your pronouns to your email signature line, name tags and Webex meeting name.
• Introduce yourself by sharing your pronouns.
• Use descriptive language if you don't know a person's pronouns. "Can you take these flowers over to the person in the jean jacket with the red hair?"
• Use the person's name. Their name is always correct, and some may prefer it to pronouns.
• Practice when talking with friends or on your own. Tell a simple story and incorporate pronouns. "Skye ran the meeting today. They put together the agenda and hosted the Q and A. They did a great job!"

Additional Resources:

• “What’s Your Pronoun? Strategies for Inclusion in the Workplace” by Out & Equal Workplace Advocates
• MyPronouns.org for resources on personal prononuns